


Nostalgia

by thexfictionxstallion



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Azula (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Azula (Avatar) Redemption, Azula needs therapy, Crazy Azula (Avatar), Gen, Lesbian Azula (Avatar), Memory Loss, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Ozai (Avatar) is an Asshole, Platonic Relationships, Sokka & Zuko (Avatar) Friendship, Strays from what’s cannon, Ursa (Avatar) is a Good Parent, Zuko (Avatar) Needs Therapy, Zuko (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, and therapy she gets :), heavy mai/zuko, she had to work with what she had
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:08:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26557882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thexfictionxstallion/pseuds/thexfictionxstallion
Summary: ❝𝐀𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐀𝐘, 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐑𝐎𝐘𝐀𝐋𝐓𝐘 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐎𝐑 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐅𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑❜𝐒 𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐕𝐀𝐋.❞..⃗.🕊•̩̩͙⁺゜ ⤾·˚ ༘ ◡̈These next few moments would lead to Zuko to be a king without memories. It will lead Zuko in a never ending loop of nostalgia, but he would never be able to identify why he felt so connected to everything.The same moments would lead Azula’s morals and identity to slide off a cliff. A nostalgic feeling will rush through her veins, even when she wished to forget it all.⋆.ೃ࿔*:･❝𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐏 𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅 𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐄 𝐃𝐄𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐃 𝐁𝐘 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐄𝐋𝐒𝐄❜𝐒 𝐎𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐎𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔.❞________________________-strays from what's cannon-maiko-azula redemption________________________
Relationships: Azula & Katara (Avatar), Azula & Mai (Avatar), Azula & Sokka (Avatar), Azula & Ty Lee (Avatar), Azula & Ursa (Avatar), Azula & Zuko (Avatar), Azula/Therapy, Azula/Ty Lee (Avatar), Iroh & Zuko (Avatar), Mai & Ty Lee (Avatar), Mai/Zuko (Avatar), Sokka & Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Suki (Avatar), Suki & Zuko (Avatar), The Gaang & Zuko (Avatar), Ursa & Zuko (Avatar), Zuko/Mai (Avatar)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 28





	1. Worries

[worries]

  
  


**____________**

  
A warm breeze blew Zuko’s hair. He closed his eyes, let himself be subjugated to the zephyr and block out any  _ unnecessary  _ noises. The wind always seemed to calm the firebender’s nerves— it reminded him of warm november days, when he and his mother would relax at the lake and feed the turtleducks. If he dug deep enough into his memories, he could remember little Azula being there with them.

Little Azula feeding the turtleducks with her older brother and mother. It was a lovely image but a sad thought. That little girl was manipulated and turned into a weapon by her own…  _ father.  _ Raised to be a soldier and fight in a hundred year war before her young mind was capable of processing what half of it meant. 

These sad thoughts are what caused Zuko’s never ending cycle of conflict and contradiction. He loved his sister, he really did, and he has finally grown to recognize that fact. But he holds a deep resentment towards what they’re so called father turned his sister into. 

Ever since he became a fully accepted member of the “Gaang” he sometimes found himself jealous of the relationship Sokka and Katara had. The siblings would fight and argue, but at the end of the day they still had mutual love and respect for each other. 

Whenever Zuko and Azula fought, one of them always ended up seriously injured-- whether that be mentally or physically.

The firebender sighed. Sometimes he wished he wasn’t the Prince-- no, sometimes he wished he wasn’t Zuko. Sometimes he wished he could be reborn. Reborned into a simple home, in a simple town, as a non-bender named Lee, serving tea. But Agni had already decided that he was Prince Zuko— he was a firebender and his life has never, and will never, be that simple.

“Zuko,” Katara’s voice pulled him away from his depressing thoughts. “Are you okay? You seem more miserable than usual.” The fourteen year old possessed humor in her tone but the prince didn’t really find anything funny.

Zuko maintained an emotionless look on his face and continued to look at the clouds that drifted around them. Katara frowned. Had she said something wrong or was it just Zuko being weird?

“Hey,” she called out to him. “If you’re worried about Aang defeating your father, you shouldn't be. Aang’s not just a little kid. He’s really strong and has been taught everything he needed to know by the greatest benders of all time— Toph, you, and me.”

Zuko pondered on that. He really wasn’t a great bender-- honestly it barely reaches mediocre-- but he wasn’t worried about Aang’s battle with the firelord. The twelve year old had all four elements and spiritual shit to help him. Zuko would be somewhat disappointed if he ended up losing.

“I’m not worried about Aang’s battle,” he told his friend. “I’m worried about Azula.”

“Azula?” the waterbender raised an eyebrow. “Well, I’m sure you can beat her too.”

Zuko shook his head before facing Katara. “That’s not what I mean. I’m not worried about beating her-- or taking the throne…” he hesitated on to say next. What would the waterbender think about Zuko having a weak spot for his sister? Would it be seen as treachery? He wonders how much faith the group has in him. They call him their friend but after everything he’s done, how surprised would they be if he turned his back on them?

“Zuko, if there’s anything that’s bothering you…” the waterbender chose her words carefully. “I really do think of you as a friend. Please don’t think you can’t come to me about anything because of what’s happened in the past.”

_ Agni, do waterbenders have mind reading powers as well? _ Zuko wondered.  _ I mean, Katara’s words succeed in calming my nerves but shit, how did she manage to hit the nail on the head like that? _

“Ok, well,” the firebender decided to be honest. “I’m not just worried because of Azula… I’m worried  _ about  _ Azula.” The waterbender’s eyes widened but she managed to continue to listen to the firebender's confession. “Even though she’s become a terrible person, she’s still my sister. We share both a mother and a father-- and I can relate to her in more ways than one. She’s been broken down and shattered, just like me three years ago… honestly, just like me a couple months ago. I really hate admitting this but I really care for her. It’s not her fault that she’s like that. I wish I had somehow reached out when we were younger, then maybe…” the firebender paused. 

_ ‘Then maybe’ what? She wouldn't try to kill you? Everyone knows Father would’ve found a way… There really was no way of stopping any of these things from happening, huh? _

Zuko sighed. “Anyways, I want to find a way to help her, you know? 

Katara stayed quiet, which didn’t help Zuko’s anxiety. After a few moments of looking at the clouds, she finally spoke. “I’ll help you with your sister.”

Zuko couldn’t suppress his shock. “Really?”

“Yes,” Katara stated. “I can’t empathize with you, but I understand how you feel. My dad, Sokka, and I have a healthy relationship. We can show our love for each other without being seen as weak. You don’t have that. As your friend, I want you to be happy so if this is what will cause you to reach that point, then yes. I will help you.”

Zuko was baffled. She actually thinks they’re friends. He means, yes, he knows she forgave him but for her to willinging name their relationship to his face… it was nice. “Thank you, Katara.”

Katara nodded in response. A few moments went by until Appa let out a roar. The waterbender and firebender looked over the ground that they soured above. A few miles ahead was the Fire Nation Palace, and if they looked closer they would be able to see Azula— soon to be Firelord.

**____________**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. lightning strikes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “No LigHtnInG tOdAy? WhAt’s tHe mAttEr? AfRaId I’lL, rEdIrEct It????”
> 
> “i’LL sHoW yOu LiGhTniNg!!!”
> 
> :0

[lightning strikes]

**_____________________**

“Sorry, Azula, but you’re not becoming Firelord today,” Zuko jumped off Appa, Katara close by. “I am.”

The princess started laughing, a maniacal, twisted laugh. Zuko felt himself flinch because of it. It was something that should’ve never came out of the mouth of a fourteen year old and yet-- it flowed out of Azula’s so naturally.

Her laughter died out as she waved her hand dismissively and said, “You’re hilarious.”

“And you’re going down!” Katara responded without a second thought.

The Fire Sages attempted a continuation of Azula’s coronation, but the fire princess waved them off. She became serious as she eyed her brother. “You want to become Firelord? Fine. Just you and me brother— the battle that was always meant to be.”

Zuko’s eyes widened at his sister’s next words, “Agni Kai.” Last time the sixteen year old fought in a firebending duel, he got half of his face burnt off, the evidence for his claim still resided on his face. To fight his sister in the same battle that led to his three year long identity crisis, it didn’t feel right…

But did he have a choice? 

No. 

So he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, reopened his golden orbs, and responded: “You’re on.”

**_______________**

_ A wicked smile found its way onto Azula’s face. Oh, for how long has she been awaiting this?  _

_ All the ways to hurt her brother passed through her mind like an amnesiac fish trying to find it’s home. This was her final chance to make sure it was set in stone who the true firebending prodigy was, who the golden child was-- who was the one Agni blessed! _

**_And who was the one loved more?_ **

_ Azula’s golden orbs widened, zooming around to find whoever  _ **_dared_ ** _ say such a thing. The voice continued to echo those five words. The sense of familiarity it gave off confused the girl. Not enough for her to change her mind about it-- she still wanted to burn whoever was saying something at such high disrespect-- but it was enough to make her stop and try to find where she heard it before. _

_ Eventually, the voice died out and her eyes stopped searching for the owner. Her golden irises went back to her brother and she prayed to Agni that neither him nor the water peasant he called his friend saw her few seconds of distress.  _

**__________________**

On the other side of the courtyard, Katara stared wide-eyed at Zuko. “What are you doing?” she hissed, “She knows she can’t us both so she’s trying to separate us! Even your uncle said that you would need help.”

“I know,” Zuko stated, his eyes focused on the person he once called ‘Little Sister.’ A hateful look was in her eyes, but Zuko had this special ability that no one else had when it came to Azula.

_ He could look past that _ . 

He’s known her all her life. She might be able to bury her emotions deep, deep down and not have the next person notice, but  _ Zuko wasn’t just the next person.  _

“There’s something off about her.” 

Past all that hate and rage there was something else inside her that only he could see; fear, sadness… the small want to be loved that every human being had.  
  


She had cut her hair.

Someone who may not be educated in Fire Nation Culture would believe it was in preparation for her coronation, but Zuko knew better. Their hair was an exact link to their honor. The longer your hair was, the more honor you viewed yourself as having.  _ This tradition is especially important for royals and those of the upper class. _

If someone were to put post-banishment Zuko alongside the Azula that stood before him, they would see:  _ She mirrored him in every way.  _

“I don’t know how to explain it, but she’s slipping.” he looked back at his friend. “This way, no one else has to get hurt.”

Katara wanted anything but to let Zuko do this by himself but the 16-year-old was as stubborn and wouldn't have agreed to anything else. Besides, they had little time and there would be no point in starting an argument.

She looked at Zuko and then back at Azula. They were siblings, no one could deny the resemblance, but did they also parallel in the mental department? Looking at Azula, she prayed to Tu and La not.

**_____________________**

_ The siblings bowed down to each other, as the ancient rules of Agni Kai demanded, then moved away. _

_ Azula still held a smile as she thought about how many different ways to burn her brother. The idea of killing him crossed her mind and her thoughts began to wonder to what effect his death would have. It wasn’t as though anyone would miss him, well, except his friends of course, but the group of five would quickly get over it. After all, they’ve only remotely liked the buy for a couple months. If Mai and Ty Lee betrayed her after knowing her for about seven years, there is no way the Avatar and his friends would like the Fire Prince enough to mourn his death-- especially after he hunted them down for months. _

**_Of course they like him. He’s a better person than you. He’s kind and knows how to express himself. You’re brutal and barely know what the word ‘emotion’ means. They love him. Everyone loves him, which is why they can’t love you_ **

_ I don’t need anyone to love me! I don’t need anyone! Shut the hell up before I find who you are and reduce you to ashes! _

**_You can try, little Lala, but you’ll never be able get rid of me. I’ve been here and I’ll always be here. Until the day you take your life._ **

**_____________________ **

The voice continued to speak but Azula ignored it. It would be of no help to her. Right now she needed to focus on one thing: beating her pest of an older brother.

“I’m sorry it has to end this way brother,” Azula said with a smile on her face.

Zuko mentally sighed. “No, you’re not.”

**___________________**

The girl was the first to attack. 

Blue flames attacked bright red as the two siblings battled. The passing comet strengthened their firebending causing larger than regular flames to rise high in the air. Katara was sure that people from miles away could see the feud between the conflagrations. 

Smoke filled the already red sky, which made it hard for the waterbener to breath-- since her lungs are more sensitive to flames-- but she was too focused on the match to think about the toxics she was ingesting. 

**______________**

Minutes of fighting passed. By the end of it, Azula was tired— and Zuko was getting overconfident. While the fourteen year old moved away to take a breath, the sixteen year old stepped up.

“No lightning today?!” He yelled at his sister. “What’s the matter?! Afraid I’ll _redirect_ _it_?!”

Azula’s rage boiled up. How dare he— her shadow-- insult her! Had he forgotten the past 14 years?!  _ She’s _ the fire princess-- he was hardly a flicker of a flame! 

_ BUT WHY IS HE SO  _ **_LOVED_ ** _?! _

Azula will never admit it, but she could feel her sanity slip from underneath her fingers during these last moments. The voice in her head began to ring. It told her,  _ kill him, kill him, kill him!  _ She tried to fight it. 

Killing him wouldn’t benefit her in any way. In fact, it would only give people more reason to not love her. 

**_But it will make you feel SOOOO much better!_ **

The voice split. 

What used to only be one annoying ring in her head, became two until eventually there was a choir of voices telling her to murder her brother.

Zuko had said she was slipping. 

This was the exact moment she slipped. 

_ “I’ll show you lightning!”  _ She yelled at her brother, her own voice cracking.

Zuko took stance, prepared to take on the lightning his sister would try to strike him down with. He put his hand forward as Azula generated blue bolts…

But when it came time for the girl to release the electrical discharge, it wasn’t him who was the target…

**______________________**

The boy's feet moved faster than his mind. 

Time slowed as the azul bolts surged through his body, trying to find refuge from the girl who created them. It was as though he was in his own little bubble. Inside he was slowly falling to the ground-- outside his sister and friend were about to clash.

The memories of both of them confronted each other as well. 

He’s spoken to soldiers extremely close to the war and they’d all say the same thing about near death experiences: _ their lives flashed before their eyes. _ Little Zuko hadn’t believed them. ‘ _ How could you possibly see your entire life just because of a little shock?’ _

Now, as the memories of little Azula running through the fields blurred his vision, he knew he should’ve listened. 

The thoughts stopped and his body finally dropped. He twitched with every small bolt of electricity that still remained in him. 

_ ‘This was it.’  _

He was a dead man walking at this point. 

He would never get to see his nation rise from the shame and humiliation that was the hundred year war. Anything that he did up to this point, wouldn’t matter. 

Azula would become the Fire Lord and there was no doubt in his mind that, at this state, she would follow the traditions of their forefathers. She would live the rest of her life hating her dead brother, the one that was only trying to help, and fearing the mother that tried her hardest to save her from their Father’s eagle-hawk eyes.

He would never see Mai's pretty smile or hear the small giggles she tried to hide when Ty Lee recited a corny joke--  _ and Ty Lee’s too good-to-be-true smile whenever she caught one of those giggles. _

_ He would die as a failure of a boyfriend, a failure of a son, a failure of a prince, a failure of a  _ **_brother_ ** _. _

Those were his thoughts before his mind went completely blank, as well as his vision.

**_______________________**

  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> ahhhh, this is my first fanfic on AO3. i hope y’all like it. this work can also be found on wattpad under the same username and title.


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